As in ako yung naka-aksidente. How I managed to do that without even knowing how to drive (and without even being in the freaking driver’s seat in the first place!) still amazes me until now.

So it happened when my family and I got home from an afternoon of shopping yesterday. Since we have no maid as of the moment (because the last couple that were supposed to replace the last one we had changed their minds what the hair), I was instructed to get off the car and open the gate to the garage. My dad said something about opening the side nearer our drunk neighbors first to minimize my exposure to them LOL (because for some reason I have neighbors who have drinking parties at any and all points of the day) and I joked with my sister about how ridiculously funny that is (I even told her to time how long I’m exposed because we’re crazy like that) as, without looking, I pushed the car door open.

…AND PROMPTLY HIT THE PERSON WALKING PAST THE CAR AT THAT EXACT MOMENT. And said person doubled up in pain and started bawling right there in the middle of the road. I apologized profusely and we moved to the sidewalk where she sat and attempted to recover, but OMG there was major sobbing and I was starting to freak out because OMG did I just injure someone?!?!

My dad got out of the car to see what was happening and we went inside the house so we weren’t all exposed out on the road like that, and my ninang (who’s also our neighbor) who saw the whole thing came over and checked out how badly injured the girl was, and our other neighbor made the brilliant suggestion to bring the girl to the hospital WHAT THE HAIR. At this point I could not believe how quickly the situation had escalated, and surely there was no need for that? My ninang sure didn’t believe there was anything wrong to warrant that much sobbing, but hey, the girl (who works as a maid for the family of the other girl who was with her) could sue us or something even though their is no possibility that I did her any lasting damage so ok fine, my parents brought her to the hospital. Me? I was instructed to stay here at home where I promptly broke down and went into a panic attack. The many if-onlys and could’ves assailed my thoughts, because if only I wasn’t laughing with me sister, I would’ve seen the passing people and could’ve avoided the impromptu hospital visit. Actually at that point, I wasn’t worrying about the girl I hit as much as I was worrying about the massive scolding I was sure to get when my parents got home. I stopped caring about the stupid girl when my ninang assured me that there was nothing to worry about and we’re just doing standard procedure so that the girl doesn’t get a chance to mooch money off us on fake charges, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I HIT MY SISTER PLENTY OF TIMES WITH VARIOUS DOORS AND I HAVE NEVER EVEN ONCE MADE HER CRY OK.

And then when they get to the hospital my dad texts me saying the girl is still in some pain but was already laughing and relating her life story. WHAT. THE. HAIR. I refused to reply to that. After nearly giving me a heart attack, suddenly she’s all buddy-buddy with my parents??? Harrumph. I SHOULD SUE HER FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES OR SOMETHING.

So anyways. Thank God the sermon lasted about 1% as long as I actually expected (was expecting an all-nighter, but I hadn’t even started on dinner by the time the discussion was over!), and so far nobody’s been suing us yet, so I shall now forget this incident ever happened and just be careful next time I open my car door.