Life is so… whatever.

(not.)

(i’m going to show you anyway.)

Adorable, Y/Y?

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Uni today was oddly fun. Well first off I had only two classes today, beginning at 1pm, so that was nice. But the first one was CompSci lab, which, OMG. D: I don’t know, ever since last semester’s hellish ride with CS32, I’ve become traumatized of my own major. It sounds stupid, but seriously, that’s what happened. I was doing REALLY BAD last semester, ok, and it was such a stressful and emotionally exhausting experience that the mere thought of programming now almost gives me a panic attack. I USED TO HAVE CS32 NIGHTMARES, FOR REAL. We can’t have me running away from programming, obviously, since HELLO, COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR HERE. And hey, I have THREE CompSci classes this semester, two of which have lab time. You can just imagine how much I was terrified over this wonderful prospect as the start of classes drew closer.

Anyway. So. Today. My CS150 (Programming Languages) class today was lab, yay… NOT. I was especially terrified because a) the prof is pretty much a legend (he’s only a judge of the most prestigious programming competition in the country, what up); and b) I was absent last lab session, so I was sort of behind. D: D: D: Doc Mana’s “Our exercise for today is just a short one” wasn’t really comforting, because based on experience with profs like him, those things always turn out difficult and loooong.

Except OMG, I finished about 2/3 into the class period? WHAT. And when I asked the prof if I was doing things right (before, you know, I actually finish my program only to find out it was wrong) and he… praised me. WHUT. He said I’d make a good program tester, because I used all possible types of test data to ensure my program was working correctly for all inputs. WHAT. WHAAAAAAAT. Please excuse my shock, I have become used to things FAIIIIILING when I program (which is why I almost failed last sem). To have my prof practically beaming at me was… idk. It kind of restored my faith in my programming abilities a little. I am not completely made of fail after all. :O

Oh, and my other class was also fun. It was Statistics, and I normally hate Stat, but today was fun. We had a game, and my group finished second, and we were the most competitive (and noisiest, haha) team and IT WAS AWESOME.

So now I am chilling and updating myself on my favorite boys (taking a step back from fandom, but not from being a fan, haha), because I’m not rushing to beat a 10pm deadline (that’s the deadline if you didn’t finish your program in class). YAY. FUN TIMES.

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In more other news, RIP Michael Jackson.

Do you ever wake up and there’s this one song in your head that you just have a real huge urge to listen to? Yeah, this song is it.

i’m just a daydreamer
one of those hopeless believers
i’m standing on the outside looking in
tell me your name, baby
don’t you play games with my heart
make me feel like i’m outside looking in

I am not ok.

For entirely different reasons now than the ones I had 5 days ago, but SO FAR FROM OK.

SO FAR FROM OK I DON’T THINK OK AND I ARE EVEN ON THE SAME PLANET.

Ok, that was lame. Whatever.

And I do not get this, fucking fuck, why are we the ones to suffer? So fucking unfair.

what am i supposed to say when i’m all choked up that you’re ok?

So everyone’s doing that twitter wordle thing. And I can’t generate a decent wordle for my twitter, so here’s one for this blog instead:

Haha, cute. I kind of want a shirt with this.

So David week was amazing. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you the details, but I have an account of it somewhere, and if you find it you’ll know it was me, just under a fake (but kind of obvious, lol) name. But to tell you all briefly, it was the most amazing week of my life. It was kind of ridiculous, the amount of time and money and effort I spent on the Davids, but it was all worth it. I met all but one of their band members, saw both Davids plenty of times, and my favorite part, got to hang out with Archie’s dad for quite a bit. It was surreal, but yeah. We bought him a Big Mac (which he totally ate!) and everything, haha. And okay, so I never actually talked to the Davids themselves more than the “Hi! :D” whenever they passed by us, but it’s okay. I’m happy with just seeing them while being shuffled along by security.

Oh, and then there was the best concert of my life, hi. Not that I’ve been to many concerts, but I’ve got a feeling it will stay up there at the top of my list for quite a while, possibly forever, just because it’s them. I love them a lot, as you know. And to see them in one show, was pretty amazing already, but the one thing I will never forget was the end. If you didn’t know already, Cook brought out Archie to sing the end of A Daily AntheM with him, and it was beautiful and moving and I was literally in tears. My two favorite boys on stage together, oh my heart. And okay, we didn’t get the duet we’d hoped for, but what we got was so much more. The poignancy of that moment was… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to describe it. Just. Do you even know the significance of it? This was a song David Cook wrote for his brother, and he hadn’t performed it for weeks, I think almost two months even, and this was the first time he performed it again. And it was with Archie. I… My heart. It will never stopped being moved by that moment, omg.

…Anyway.

So you’re probably wondering who I spent that week with. Um, six complete strangers? Kidding. Some friends I’ve known only since last year. Yes, we went the creepy stalker route and stayed at their hotel. Whatever, best 2000 bucks I’ve spent owed ever (which reminds me, I still have yet to pay Chris, ahaha). Not that we were actually creepy and stalkery, I never stepped foot at their floor or anything. Never ran after them when they passed by (but I saw some people actually did that, wth), just said hi and went back to what I was doing (which was usually abusing hotel lobby wi-fi, lol). Never even got within a couple feet of them except for when Archie did that quick autograph session before they left. I didn’t even know we’d actually get to, like, hang out with Jeff freaking Archuleta in the middle of the night, but that’s what happened. We were kind of lucky, heh.

After that, I spent three weeks trying to put that entire week into words, except not even a 30,000-word epic can contain adequately. There’s lots more stuff that my and my friends hadn’t shared, and probably won’t ever share. But just. The Davids are surrounded by amazing people, and I’m really lucky to have met them. Especially Jeff Archuleta. He is the most amazing person I have ever met. He was so kind to us, you don’t even know. I love him.

And then after that was this week, where… things just crashed and burned. I can’t talk about why, but it involved so much emotional stress that I had sort of a breakdown on Tuesday. I’m doing better now, almost completely okay, but things have messed up some relationships of mine and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive those people for ruining my friendships with other people.

And now here I am, trying to get back to real life. David week (okay, month) was amazing, but I kind of need a break. I am not exactly thrilled with my academic performance last year, and I am determined to do better this time. And yeah okay, so I quit my job so now I have plenty more time for school, so with the right time management skills I can handle both school and fandom at the same time, so that’s not even really my excuse to step back from fandom. But. Just. Really need a break. You guys, don’t ever get yourselves (too) involved with fandom, it can get really ugly, sigh.

Anyway. Yeah. So there, that’s the last four weeks of my life in a (long) nutshell. I’ll leave you with my two best photos of the Davids. I am normally a crappy photographer, but they just make it so easy. SIGH, THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. I want to photograph them forever.