Life is so… whatever.

three months later

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guess what, i actually made it.

i didn’t actually believe it until my name was finally, finally on that list. before that i hated even telling other people that i’m graduating, because what if i didn’t? everyone will already be expecting it and then i’d have to tell them that it wasn’t happening and i hate not meeting expectations and ugh, i was just so terrified, okay.

and then i made it, and the results were better than expected, and i’m still kinda reeling from that, tbh.

the only thing that would’ve made it better is that if we all made it. if all of us who’d remained in CS, all of them who were with me, made it at the same time. my feelings were mostly relief that it was over, but not really celebratory, because there wasn’t many people to celebrate with. annaaaaaaaa, i missed you more than ever this past weekend. :(

everyone’s like, so now what? i’m not. mostly all i want to do is rest. i enjoy that i’ve got time for it now (especially knowing this is my last summer break; i start working in june — which is probably the reason i’m not at a loss, because while i still have no idea how i actually want to spend the rest of my life, i at least have something definite for the meantime while i figure it out). it was an exhausting ride, not just college but the last 8 years, really. they were also some of my happiest, but i’m glad it’s over. time for something new. maybe now i’ll have time to find myself. whatever that means.

…huh. this wasn’t the post i was intending to make. this is a weird post. hmm.

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Written by eeeek

April 20, 2011 at 7:17 pm

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