Life is so… whatever.

wanted: work-life balance.

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Last week I was at dinner with Camille and her boyfriend Mico, and Mico told me how he’s amazed that I can still go out after a long day’s work (I had to do overtime that day and was late to dinner. So by “I was at dinner” I actually mean I was eating while they were done long before I arrived). He asked me how I do it.

My answer? I can’t not do it. Even if at 6pm I still had no idea when I would even leave the office. Even if at 7:30, the meeting time I set, I was just on my way to the MRT station from work, I had to do it. Because if I don’t, then my life will just be work and sleep and that is just disgusting and I hate it and I might actually go insane. So every opportunity I get, I hang out with friends, even though I’ll regret it in the morning. Actually I don’t, it’s worth the lost sleep, actually having a life. It’s also the driving force behind my project 50/120/500 challenge (which I am way behind on, oh shit) — for nights that I’m not out, I make sure to read or watch something, do something before collapsing into bed and repeating the process all over again. I don’t want to be an Uncle Henry. What’s an Uncle Henry, you say?

He worked hard from morning till night and did not know what joy was.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Lyman Frank Baum

That’s an Uncle Henry.

Seriously, there’s gotta be more to life than this.

My ex-thesis partner says he wants to try stuff — wall-climbing, bungee jumping, anything. I am so, so tempted to join him, despite my paralyzing fear of heights (no for real, take me to a place high/narrow/terrifying enough and I will sob like a two-year-old), because as he said, when we get old we’ll be stuck in a boring life, but right now we are young so we should do things. Actually when I get old I don’t want to be boring either, but I gotta start now before I end up being a boring retiree in a 20-something’s body.

The problem is I don’t have the time. I have money now for all — well, a lot of — the things I want to do, but time is never enough. I spend at least 9 hours a day at work, another 3 to 4 commuting, several more for getting ready in the morning and sleeping and such. Which leaves me with a few hours to try to feel human again and not a robot. Today was a holiday and I still feel like I barely got to do anything, even though in lieu of a lunch with friends that didn’t push through, I got to finish a book, watch a movie, watch an Azkals game (which I haven’t done in a while). Weekends are never enough. Even that one week I took off in April wasn’t enough. I don’t know, where does time go? Possibly to my sleep, because I can’t live on four hours of sleep a night like I used to do in college. But sleep is important, I love sleep. Bah. I wish there were 48 hours in a day, but the workday would still remain the same, so I could sleep 12 hours every night and still have time to have fun. Someone call me when Apple has invented a product to do that.

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