Life is so… whatever.

Posts Tagged ‘STILL NOT OKAY

I… am so bad at this.

leave a comment »

My last post was my usual year-end/beginning post, and now another year is about to end and I’m about to post another one of those. Not that anyone ever reads this anymore, but. I hardly wrote at all (in whatever way, shape or form) this year, and it feels like I’ve been less introspective. It’s not even that I’m super busy. It’s not either that there’s nothing to write about, because actually, a bunch of cool and exciting things happened this year. I’ve traveled more than I ever have in years before, did a lot of things for the first time, liked a bunch of new things. I don’t know, I’ve just let go of writing, and reading (I’m way short of my reading goal this year, it’s pathetic), and just a lot of things in general. I feel like I’m getting old and tired and just removing things in my life that make me tired and annoyed, and unconsciously I’ve also apparently let go of things that I like (which sucks), and somehow it includes things that will need me to brave the ever-worsening traffic and general stress of getting around this metro and that’s a big part of the problem, because now I’ve been to lazy to go to things. And another big part is me being bored of what I do everyday. I feel like I work just to be able to do things that I actually want to do and have fun doing, which is fine since at least work leaves me with time to do so, but sometimes I want something more. Good Lord, quarter-life crisis is SO MUCH FUN.

In other news, I’ve been talking and catching up with K tonight and while I feel sad that I missed some major milestones in her life (she’s engaged and will be married in 26 days!), I’m over being bitter (I mean, it’s not like I was the only one who stopped messaging) and just want to try and remain friends and at least catch up once in a while. And I know we are still friends, because the conversation tonight has been easy like it always has been, like picking up an old conversation about Colin and music and life, except I kind of have to put in a tiny bit more effort to keep the talking going, but that’s okay. I’ve been learning that as I grow older (and hopefully grow up) the people in my life are growing too and I realize who I want to keep in my life despite distance and general busyness, and she is one of them. I realize it’s going to be deliberate and not always easy but hey, she was practically living in another timezone even when she was here, and if we got through having different shifts then we can do this.

Other things that have happened since my last post, which I will hopefully write about one of these days:

  • WENT TO AUSTRALIA. Which is hands-down the best trip of my life. Such a lovely place. No matter how bored and tired I am of my job, that experience is something I will always be grateful to have.
  • Fell in love with the band Bastille, which truly started in Australia when I saw them in Melbourne even though I was just a casual fan by then (how I was there and got tickets when they were playing are one huge coincidence and it feels like it’s meant to be)
  • Went on a couple of trips with just my sister and Fatima (and okay, that one time with her sisters and mother). My sister and I never did this before.
  • Also treated my parents to a trip to Palawan in January, which is the first time I’ve done something big for them.
  • New cats!
  • A bunch of other things but mostly the highlight of my year is two months in Australia!!!

Written by eeeek

December 1, 2014 at 9:12 pm

light up, light up, as if you have a choice

leave a comment »

I’ve been on leave for the last three days, technically been on break for five days (since Saturday). It’s… restful. I get to sleep a lot. Finished a book today. Watched a couple of movies. Had my hair done. I should probably be studying for an exam I have to take, but I just really need to not work for a while. Though the kind of busy I’ve been in the last few months was the good kind of busy, I need a break. You know you really do when your own boss yells “Get a life!” at you… predictably while you are doing your nth overtime in the last few months.

Could’ve been better though, if I didn’t twist my knee last Sunday, and then go to the mall (to buy my shiny new camera!!) despite that, which aggravated it even further. Sunday night until Monday I spent on the couch, elevating and resting the knee like I should’ve. Blame my mother, she wouldn’t believe I was in actual pain until I probably made her arm numb with my death grip as I really could not walk without assistance. The knee feels loads better now, although still a little stiff. Hopefully it won’t be a problem when I go to Malaysia/Singapore this weekend until next week.

=====

I’m watching old concert videos right now, particularly Snow Patrol’s, and fuck, that was a good concert. I feel like crying just watching them play ugh they are SO GOOD. Also I might possibly be tearing up from nostalgia because this was one of K and my last concerts together, and one of the best.

The Script is coming up in 11 days and I won’t have her there and it’s sad because she’d finally seen the light and became a fan and now she won’t get to see them.

…right, so the separation anxiety is still happening, after all these weeks.

Written by eeeek

March 20, 2013 at 9:16 pm

things i got tonight

leave a comment »

  1. free dinner
  2. a hug
  3. a fresh dose separation anxiety

Written by eeeek

February 1, 2013 at 12:41 am